fuck my life.
I broke up with my girlfriend Thursday afternoon. We had been having a lot of problems, like fighting constantly over stupid stuff. So she came over from work to my house. We talked and i broke up with her.... she cried, i cried. Later that day i called her, told her i was being a dumbass, i wanted to take it all back, blah blah blah. She just responded with "i want to stay broken up for now, i want to think". Okay so that hurt, i understood i left her alone. Everyone quickly found out about this and suddenly people are trying to hook me up, i went on kind of a date with a girl... she was really cool, rumors say she was a slut, totally could tell she wanted me but i didnt do anything. Shes hot but i really didnt feel like it. Saturday i kept pretty busy hardly thought about it at all... except for crying myself to sleep.. kinda. Sunday night... it's really starting to get to me, im starting to freak out and get desperate. So after i get off of work i go to her house knock on her window because its pretty late.. 11:30pm.... she answers the door we sit on the street curb and we talk. Except she wont look at me. Or sit near me. Shes tired, but when i talk to her it honestly feels like she doesnt even care... i throw myself out there again, make a fool of myself. tell her i want her back, that i love her and im sorry, i was stupid. I touch her hand and she just snatches it away... that hurt. then she says she wants to go. we both stand up and she gives me a hug.... i hug her back but apperantly way too long. She tells me to let her go. how she cant do this, but i dont. Then she actually starts walking away from me.... wtf.... seriously?!??!?! i catch up with her and she tells me to stay away. i follow and she start running away from me! into back into her house! then just closes the door behind her....

can you freakin imagine that? the girl im in love with that i dated for 22 months. shit. This was just a crushing blow. oh and before when i told her i wanted her back she told me she wasnt sure if she did. she wasnt sure if she wanted me to be a part of her life anymore.
i got home. called her.
we talked but was quick to get off the phone. I was freakin crying.
I never fucking cry. I repress a lot of emotion and i know its bad but i just dont cry.
but with her... she just makes me weak... ive become so attached to her... i dont want to let her go.
while we were going out we actually told each other that if one of us did try and break up with us we wouldnt let the other person do it... lol.
i dont know what to do... i dont have any real friends to talk to this about.

but she said she doesnt want get back together cuz we have problems...
really?? we all have problems!!!!
we try to work it out!!!

this actually JUST happend 40 minutes ago...
fuck my life.


oh then i find out she got shit face drunk last night at a party and spent the night there.

what the hell am i suppose to do?

she wants time to figure shit out, is really the only way to suck it up and wait?
what if she doesnt want to get back together?
i really think she would do that.
like if she sets her mind to it she would.

i really really have a feeling this is the end. and i dont want it to be.

why am i such a fucking dumbass. why the hell did i break up with her?

This is Chuck Norris's brother, and their powers are evenly-matched. This keeps the universe in balance. If one were to die, the world will be destroyed.